I've been craving more alone time. Not the kind where I want to cancel plans with people or sit in the darkness of my home for hours on end, but the kind where I can listen to myself. The kind that happens in my car with the right music on... the kind that happens when I wake up in the morning a little earlier than usual and have that bit of extra time to think...
I'm trying to get in tune with myself to prepare for all the roads ahead. I'm trying to have some really good conversations with myself. I'm trying to get comfortable.
There is a part of me so terrified of the "aloneness." But there is another part that wants it. Both parts fight daily. They state their cases. They each try to convince me their way is best.
And that's another concept that seems so elusive. What's best?
How can we know what is best for ourselves? How can we predict the right future, the right outcome? How can we know which direction is right at the fork in the road? How can we move forward without fear? What is best?
We cannot ever truly know. But we can feel. I am trying to listen with my soul. I want to hear what my heart is saying and take heed. I want to feel the vibrations of this life and go with the current of where they wish to lead me. I can't know what's best, but maybe if I try, I can feel it.
Listening. That's what's best.
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Help me feel less alone.