Everything Can Be A Gift

If you have no expectations, everything is a gift.

Think about it.

If you expect someone to show you something, give you something, or do something for you and they don't... you're disappointed. If they DO show, give, or do...you'll simply remain on the plateau of mediocre existence because your expectation was met. It's somehow no big deal (even if it's something great!) because you expected it in the first place. But if you live each day without such expectations, and someone shows you what you need, gives you what you want, or does something nice for you, you'll feel lucky and grateful. Those gestures will be gifts.

If you live life allowing everyone to be who they are, without expecting them to change based on your expectations, every good thing they show you will be a gift. Not an expectation. Not the deliverance of a demand.

It can be pretty difficult to do at times... because we're all human... but the attempt to just be open to what everyone has to offer is a worthy one. And I think it's important to remind ourselves that receiving a gift is so much better than having an expectation met.

A clear cut example:

Someone brings you flowers. You like it. The next week, they bring you flowers. You like it. The following week, you expect them to bring you flowers and they don't. So you're disappointed. And you start wondering why they didn't bring you flowers... or what's changed... and so, you devalue them a bit...perhaps even become sad or annoyed...even though they have done nothing wrong.

BUT

If you expect nothing each week and someone brings you flowers from time to time, you're going to think it's wonderful. Every time. It's going to feel like a gift. Not something that's expected. You'll see it as the extra it really is, not an expectation.

Sometimes, expectations have a place: job performance, our own goals and aspirations, etc. But when it comes to every day emotional relationships and our interactions with the people in our lives, it's better to tweak the mindset...because by letting go of expectations, we really gain so much more.

Sometimes You've Just Got to Let It Ride...

Every day, I feel these things: gratitude, pain, love, surprise. 

I am grateful, because I know how lucky I am. The support I receive daily is matchless and I smile knowing that there are a multitude of people I can count on in a moment's notice. I also feel like every day I am understanding more and more what I am meant to do in this world. I am grateful for the lessons I am learning... the people with whom I am spending my time... the magic of healing.

I feel pain, because I am still going through this process one day at a time. Grieving a loss this profound is a roller coaster... a journey of great feats... an open wound. In fact, every morning, I feel that there is a gaping wound in my chest. I touch it, poke it... and it still hurts. I wince, knowing that today will prove painful in some ways as usual... but I am also relieved, because if it hurts, it's still there. The loss has shaped me and I don't want to be rid of it or the emotions that I associate with it. It's part of me now... forever... and as it heals, the scar will stay. I would not want it any other way.

I feel love, because every day somehow holds more beauty, not less. I live a life I'm meant to live and I am not ashamed of that longing for joy. There is no end to what I can do...what I will do. For me, there is no mundane life that is just lived because that is what's always been done. I have purpose, energy, determination, ideas, spark... It hasn't gone away. It may even be amplified.  In the wake of tragedy, I have been shown great love... and since love breeds more love, I feel love all the time. I still think there is sadness in my eyes that was not there before. I can see it even when I smile. Sometimes it even catches me off guard, as if for a minute I don't even recognize my own face in the mirror. But it does not stop me from loving.

And last, I feel surprise. I am surprised by the twists and turns my life has made...and I am also surprised by my lack of being able to predict my own life these last, let's say, 10 years. When I pictured my life, I saw so many things - but those things were more like predictions than dreams. I have learned not to predict, but to dream. I used to imagine what I thought would happen. But if I do as the Eagles say in Love Will Keep Us Alive (one of my favorite songs), and just "let it ride," I can appreciate everything as it comes and understand that my dreams are just seeds ready to make realities bloom. There is no sense in thinking you have life all figured out. Who has life figured out at 20? At 30?  

I ride this life with no expectations. I have wishes, hopes, and dreams, but I will not predict my life. I will simply live it.