Thursday, April 16, 2015

Everything Can Be A Gift

If you have no expectations, everything is a gift.

Think about it.

If you expect someone to show you something, give you something, or do something for you and they don't... you're disappointed. If they DO show, give, or'll simply remain on the plateau of mediocre existence because your expectation was met. It's somehow no big deal (even if it's something great!) because you expected it in the first place. But if you live each day without such expectations, and someone shows you what you need, gives you what you want, or does something nice for you, you'll feel lucky and grateful. Those gestures will be gifts.

If you live life allowing everyone to be who they are, without expecting them to change based on your expectations, every good thing they show you will be a gift. Not an expectation. Not the deliverance of a demand.

It can be pretty difficult to do at times... because we're all human... but the attempt to just be open to what everyone has to offer is a worthy one. And I think it's important to remind ourselves that receiving a gift is so much better than having an expectation met.

A clear cut example:

Someone brings you flowers. You like it. The next week, they bring you flowers. You like it. The following week, you expect them to bring you flowers and they don't. So you're disappointed. And you start wondering why they didn't bring you flowers... or what's changed... and so, you devalue them a bit...perhaps even become sad or annoyed...even though they have done nothing wrong.


If you expect nothing each week and someone brings you flowers from time to time, you're going to think it's wonderful. Every time. It's going to feel like a gift. Not something that's expected. You'll see it as the extra it really is, not an expectation.

Sometimes, expectations have a place: job performance, our own goals and aspirations, etc. But when it comes to every day emotional relationships and our interactions with the people in our lives, it's better to tweak the mindset...because by letting go of expectations, we really gain so much more.

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