Restoration

I didn't blog last night, mostly because I didn't feel like it. I'm feeling a change in the air... a good one.

I see multiple doors opening in various areas of my life. I feel transition all around me like a rhythmic  heartbeat.

I have been thinking about the word "healed." Grief can't be cured or fixed or gotten over. But healing does happen.

Healed (verb):
- to restore to health or soundness
- to ease or relieve
- to set right; repair

Everything that's happened in my life has shaped me, chiseled me, and molded me into the Arielle who is lying here in this bed right now. But this woman I am - this woman I've become - isn't new. She is just a better, stronger version of the woman who was always here. Healing happened...internal focus played its part and external factors were at play as well.

I still get sad sometimes. I still find shock and horror in certain aspects of my life. I still can't control the trauma reactions that slip into my subconscious and into my affected world at points. But like the definition above says, I've been restored.

I know everything is all part of a plan. I know my life is on the path that's right. I know fate brings me to the destinations and people and gifts that most benefit me. In those things, I am free of doubt. And when I lie here in the stillness, realizing that I am indeed free of doubt that my life is good and that things happen for meaningful reasons, that inner happiness expands inside of me.