I was sitting in the backseat of a moving car. Someone was driving me, but I'm not sure where I was heading. I had my hands in my lap and I was looking out the side window of the car, watching everything passing by.
All of a sudden, an older man in the front passenger's seat turned around to look at me. With an awed look, he said, "All I want is to one day be as happy as you are."
And in that moment, it was like I realized how happy I was inside...and I smiled at him like I knew a secret.
Today was okay and tonight involved a lot of laughing with two of my work friends. I am good at getting right in the moment and living in it so that I can push away any scariness or sadness. I'm still fairly anxious about the rest of the weekend + Monday...but I know that soon it will be over and I'll have hit all the milestones.
At this moment, I'm living the worst part... that feeling of coming home to an empty house after a fun night...lying alone in the darkness, thinking...
It's time for bed... And hopefully good dreams instead of bad ones.