Saturday, May 9, 2015

Somewhere to Stay

Earlier tonight, I fell asleep in my living room chair for about 2 hours. While I was asleep, I had a dream that I was alone on vacation somewhere warm, walking from house to house and hotel to hotel, trying to find a place to stay. Every place I came to looked special in some way - fun or beautiful or comfortable - but I could never find a person anywhere who could help me. At once place that looked promising and peaceful, I looked into the window of the closed door to find that it was empty inside, vacant as though it had closed or gone out of business.

I have no idea what a dream like this means, but I do know that when I fell asleep in the early evening it was still light outside and when I woke up later alone in my living room, there was darkness all around me. I was disoriented and lonely. It took me a minute to remember what time of day it was.

My dream was like living disappointment over and over. Every time I'd see a place that looked great, I'd have hope that it would be somewhere I could stay. I'd happily walk up to it to discover that for whatever reason, I could not. Disappointment would hit. Then I'd move on to the next place. On and on and on.

I am so close to the end of this first year of grief. So ready for transition and happiness and new beginnings. No disappointment.

I have a terrible, terrible headache, so I think I'm going to go back to sleep...this time in my bed.


  1. I love dreams. Even the bad ones. There is so much meaning, metaphor and poetry in them. To me, it seems clear that this dream is about knowing you're ready to move on, knowing you're ready for the net wonderful thing, but not knowing quite what that is yet. You're peering in through all of these metaphorical windows and seeing what there is to offer but none of them seems right, somehow, or available to you. But that's only because you've not peeped in at the right pane of glass, yet. There's no rush. You have all the time in the world xxx

  2. Great post! I can't really say I know much about understanding dreams, but I'm sorry it made you feel upset, stay strong!xx


Help me feel less alone.