Friday, August 1, 2014


I've noticed some patterns since Rick's been gone and I've been living alone. Little things that are noticeable only in retrospect or if I take a minute to ponder them. 

My electric bill, for example, is significantly less. I couldn't understand why at first. Then I contemplated it some more... I cook a lot less now...and only one room is ever in use at a time since I'm only one person, so I suppose lighting is reduced as well. Barring that, I haven't touched the it's amazing how electricity is so affected without Rick in the world.

On the flip side, I've noted a considerable increase in the amount of tissues I purchase. Over the last 2.5 months I've gone through more tissue boxes than the previous 6 months combined. The reasoning behind this one is simple: crying. More crying = more tissues. New pattern.

Another new pattern is Wednesday nights with Jennifer. We take turns getting dinner, we watch our show, and we talk. The absence of Rick has brought with it the increase of friendship time on the clock.

And change. Not the philosophical kind, but the tangible, monetary kind. I have more of it. Rick must have been putting change into a piggy bank and rolling coin wrappers on a pretty frequent basis, because I suddenly have change on countertops, change in my car, and change in a case on the kitchen table. It was never in such abundance before.

I have new routines...I am finding my groove.

I've adapted my schedule to a life of one. To Arielle time. To my unique preferences and demands without sacrifice or wiggle room, because there is no other person sharing my home, my chores, and my time. 

A life of one that has come into existence abruptly after the groove of a life of two has its challenges. But it also has its perks. And its lessons. And of course, its patterns. 

Electricity and tissues hold little weight when I feel as though my very DNA is morphing. My heart, mind, and even my body are adopting new patterns. I'm on a new frequency. And my patterns are learning to serve me well.

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