Guardian Angels

I am good at enduring. I am good at acting as though I am not sick. As though I am not grieving. That's what makes this blog so vital to my life: everyone can see what lies beneath the surface. If I put my best face on, they still know - if they choose to read - that I am in mourning and that my life has been turned upside down.

When I woke up this morning, I felt so sick. All I wanted to do was lie in bed. But I pushed forward. I got dressed. I cleared my scratchy throat. I put contacts in my sore eyes. I blew my nose a thousand times. Then I took some antihistamine and I pranced into work with a smile on my face.

Today, I was reminded that people listen. They listen and they care. I left my first meeting of the day with my head pounding and my throat hoarse. I tried not to think about Rick so I wouldn't cry, since being sick always seems to make me more emotional. I opened my office door, and there on my desk was a hot cup of Dunkin Donuts tea, a new box of tissues, a bag of cough drops, cold medicine for day and night, and a bottle of water.

A wave of gratitude and relief swept over me. Some kind person took over for Rick. I sipped the tea and sent out an email to my coworkers, thanking the anonymous caretaker. By the end of the day, I had used everything at least in part, and I was feeling loved. I am still sick, but my smile is a bit more real than it was this morning. Thank you, Laura.

Another nice thing happened today. One of my neighbors informed me that all the houses in our township need green reflective address number signs, along with white numbers. These signs have to be out by the curb and there are specific ramifications. Don't comply, pay a fine. She wanted to make sure I knew. I didn't know. Maybe Rick got something in the mail and planned on doing it. I'll never know...

In any case, she bought my reflective address number sign for me today and had it put together too, so I didn't have to struggle with it. Thank you, Lisa.

These little things, such as cold remedies and address signs...they mean so much to me. They make my day easier, brighter, and less full of grief. Today, two people did for me what Rick would have done if he was still here. One took care of me while I was sick. The other went to the hardware store and had my house sign made.

Rick isn't here anymore, but guardian angels are picking up the slack.