As the title of this blog is The Cat Widow, I have to talk about my cats again.
The vet called me personally today to see how Juice was doing and to give me Tumbler's kidney results to see how he is fairing with his advanced kidney failure. In a nutshell, Tumbler is a miraculous cat. In April, when we found out he was dying of kidney failure, he had 2 kidney values tested. The first was creatinine and it was 6.6, which is insanely high and terrible. Today, his level is 2.2 which is WITHIN NORMAL LIMITS because the vet said anything under 2.4 is fine!
The other value tested was his BUN (blood urea nitrogen), which was 98 in April, and again is terrible because it should be below 38. Today, Tumbler's BUN level is 48, so it's still higher than it should be, but it's VASTLY improved. The vet was very impressed with him. The vet did not realize that Tumbler is the most persistent cat in the world.
I told Tumbler to live the dream and he did. He still has kidney failure, of course, but he has a much better prognosis now. Now we just have to get Juice feeling better.
Speaking of Juice, I was supposed to head to Philly for the weekend to spend time with my friends Beth, Lindy, and Sarah. Beth lives in that area, Lindy comes from Virginia, and Sarah comes from Connecticut. Well, with Juice sick and needing medicine so often as she gets better, I had to opt out. There's no one to give her medicine and fluids if I'm not home. I forgot, however, that I have the best friends in the world, so Beth and Lindy are on their way to me as we speak. And tomorrow morning, Sarah will be here too. My house will be full of friends with funny stories and cats with kidney failure.
Despite all the bad that permeates my life, I really am so lucky. When the vet called me about Tumbler today, I smiled so hard and fought back tears because I just knew that Rick was looking out for me and the cats. For all I know, he's coaching Tumbler from the spirit world.
Last night, I cried. For Rick. For both the cats. For myself. I held my pillow and used it to wipe my tears. I asked myself how I have been able to live these last 40 days. I asked Rick to look out for me. I told him that I didn't want an empty house. I cried over my empty house.
Today, my cats are doing so much better, it doesn't look like they're going anywhere anytime soon, and I have 3 friends coming to stay with me. I'm sad but I'm alive, I'm sad but I'm hopeful, I'm sad but I'm grateful...and out of nowhere, I have anything but an empty house.