Monday, March 2, 2015


Exactly 6 months ago today, I wrote this as the ending to a post:

And last, I feel surprise. I am surprised by the twists and turns my life has made...and I am also surprised by my lack of being able to predict my own life these last, let's say, 10 years. When I pictured my life, I saw so many things - but those things were more like predictions than dreams. I have learned not to predict, but to dream. I used to imagine what I thought would happen. But if I do as the Eagles say in Love Will Keep Us Alive (one of my favorite songs), and just "let it ride," I can appreciate everything as it comes and understand that my dreams are just seeds ready to make realities bloom. There is no sense in thinking you have life all figured out. Who has life figured out at 20? At 30?  

I ride this life with no expectations. I have wishes, hopes, and dreams, but I will not predict my life. I will simply live it.

It's much more fun to dream than to predict. I've always dreamed. I'm a pro at dreaming. But no one ever said, "Hey, that sounds perfect. Let's do it." I just don't think I ever really understood that dreams don't have to stay dreams. They can come to fruition sometimes. I used to think that all the things I dreamed up were fantasies...that they had no business being realities. I used to think that I was the only one who wanted the things I want. Or that I had to continually sacrifice. Over and over again. I don't have big plans... I have simple visions... very simple, really... but they are meaningful to me. And so far in life, though I've been lucky and thankful for what I've had, I haven't been able to let my dreams be seeds that make realities bloom. It is wonderful and touching to realize that I can live the things I envision for myself...that it is possible to feel truly excited about life...that I can just let it ride...

1 comment:

  1. I haven't been to your blog in a long while, and I am now learning of your husband committing suicide. Let me say first and foremost that I am terribly sorry for what you have endured. What I respect about you here is how you find other ways to keep yourself strong and positive. And in this case, your wonderful cats help you deal. I still have the greatest respect for you today and what you provide to the Internet. That hasn't changed since I first learned of you. So continue to provide your positivity and your motivation to others. Please take care of yourself and be well.


Help me feel less alone.