She brought this simple ritual into my life, and it's amazing what a ritual can do.
Rituals can be comforting, of course, but I also look forward to this one. It serves a purpose. There is meaning behind it.
It's so easy to let things lapse. Especially rituals that are weekly occurrences. It's easy to say, "Oh not this week," or "We'll do it next week instead." Then the breaks become more frequent and before you know it, the ritual itself has fallen apart. Not with us. It isn't so much that we take it seriously (though in a way, we do), it's that we're both very loyal people. When we start something, we like to finish it. When we make a commitment to a friend, we follow through. So on each of our ends, this ritual has become something solid. We keep it going. I keep it going, because it kept me going.
It's a bit funny to note how a TV show marked my grieving process. Here I am at the other end now, remembering how it got me through. Remembering the love and care of a friend. Remembering those first few Wednesdays when I could laugh at the TV for an hour here and there, transported away from my painful existence. When everything felt weird and off, we could watch our show and forget.
My living room changed around us...photos taken down...furniture coming and going. Holidays came and went. Food was in variety...whether delivered to my door, cooked by me in my kitchen, or picked up on the way home. Between travel and illness and other events, a Wednesday here and there was skipped, but there was always a plan on the calendar for the next time we'd reconvene. We've cried. We've laughed. We've gone through tissues and Dove Bars and tea. These Wednesdays have seen a lot of conversations between us, a lot of life changes, and so much...progression. In so many literal and figurative ways.
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Help me feel less alone.