Wednesday, February 4, 2015


I have always played by the rules.

I never got grounded.
I never lied.
My dad's punishment for me for a minor offense like arguing with him or not finishing my dinner would be to put whatever book I was currently reading on top of the refrigerator so I couldn't reach it or have it back and had to wait to read the ending.

I never snuck out.

I have always played by the rules.

I got straight As. I never did drugs. I never smoked a cigarette.

I didn't even go out drinking in college until I was 21.

I went to Sunday school.

I never cheated on tests.

I have always played by the rules.

I worked hard. I worked harder.

I never got a speeding ticket. Or stopped by a cop.

My husband used to laugh and laugh at me, saying, "We've led very different lives, you and I..."

I have always played by the rules.

I got married. I bought a house. Got a master's degree.

And here I am today...wondering if playing by the rules is really the best way to do every single thing in life. Being a perfectionist certainly didn't give me a perfect outcome.

Maybe I've missed all the fun? I mean, I like to think that I am a fun girl... not boring or reserved or uptight... but maybe I've been missing out all these years, so intent on keeping myself in line.

There's a difference between being reckless and holding yourself back...

You can be careful, but open. You can be safe, but take risks. You can be true to yourself, but relax.

I'm 30. I don't want to waste any more time missing out on what life has to offer.


  1. Same here. I'm so tired of doing what I'm "supposed to." Sure it's gotten me to where I am but at the same's gotten me to where I am. I'm so ready for something different. We only get one life and it's such a gift we must not take for granted.

  2. If you don't regret chances you didn't take or you don't spend most of the time wondering what could have happened I guess it's fine.


Help me feel less alone.