Trouble

Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind. Sometimes I feel like I'm having fun. 

trouble (verb):

1. to disturb the mental calm and contentment of; worry; distress; agitate

2. to put to inconvenience, exertion, pains, or the like

3. to disturb, agitate, or stir up 

trouble (noun):

1. unfortunate or distressing position, circumstance, or occurrence; misfortune

2. civil disorder, disturbance, or conflict

3. mental or emotional disturbance or distress; worry

I smile and smirk and daydream my way through a day, embracing risk and fun, but when it comes down to it, I don't want trouble... I don't want to be in trouble... and I don't want to be trouble. 

There are times I want to scream, "Please someone, help me get my crazy widow head on straight!"

There are other times I want to yell, "Let me do what I want! I'm an adult!"

To use a phrase from one of the definitions above, I feel stirred up. 

God, the problem is, I like that feeling. I like feeling stirred up... because I like to feel.